Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
She bit a glass in half.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
