i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
