I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
