Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
