wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize