they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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