belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
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