ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
