I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
