dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
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