Fine. I'll sleep in my office
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
