i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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