coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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