he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
