i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
