So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
