And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize