I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
