just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize
