wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
nutella sex= disaster
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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