If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
