i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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