I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize
