dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i will never coherently bang her
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
