You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
