I cut my penus on the lid.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I believe in your delicious
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
