I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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