Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize