I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize