How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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