Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
He called his prostate his "boner button".
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Use "feeling words"
Yay
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
