Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
