how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
