Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
