i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
He called his prostate his "boner button".
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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