Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
