I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
