using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize