I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
