I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
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