her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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