john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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