Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
We left an ass print on the piano.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
