Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
