remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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