You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
