but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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