That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
