i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
