wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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