yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Randomize