Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
