i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
So much rum. So many feels.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
