i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
