the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
