Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
