he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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